I know that interviews are very stressful for both you, the nanny and the parents. However, based on experience I can tell you that if you do not ask the correct questions then you will get burned in the end. But, what happens if you asked all the questions and you start the job and realize the parents were not truthful with you about the kids, salary or anything else about the job? This is when you need to confront the parents.
I started a job thinking I would be taking the kids to the park and other various activities. I was wrong. On day one, the oldest boy insisted on watching 9 HOURS of television. Now, the baby was sick so I couldn’t take her anywhere because of that. However, if the baby wasn’t sick my car-seats still we not assembled. This was the parent’s responsibility. Also, on the first day i noticed that the older child acted a bit odd. I asked in the interview if any of the children had any types of disorders and the mom said no. After the first day, I thought otherwise.
On the second day, the baby was feeling better but the older child was still acting out. I wouldn’t have thought anything of it except that he had had other caregivers before me. This should not have been such a drastic change for him. Until, i asked him what he and his other sitters used to do. they told me, “Noggin”. That was no surprise to me. This child knew everything there was about every show on Noggin. I am all for kids watching some TV but not 9 straight hours. That is rediculous! I say 1 hour maybe 2… 2 is even pushing it. When I was hired to be a nanny, I was hired to play with the children, do activities, drive them places… not sit in front of a TV and sing songs from Blue’s Clues.
The biggest thing I noticed with the older child was fascination with Noggin. Also, how he imitated every movement on the television. He would see a character running on TV and stand close to the TV and run in place. He would yell and scream. He would jump off furniture, All of these things I didn’t expect because I was never told about. He didn’t like playing any games and flipped out when i would turn off the TV. He didn’t want to play with any of his toys. In fact, he yelled at me saying, “My toys won’t let me play with them!”. After he told me that, I knew something was up.
The next day I asked the mom what he liked to do. She told me puzzles, games, everything that she said in the interview. Well, I had already tried all those options. She then proceeded to demean my character by saying, “Well, you are the adult, turn of the TV”. Uhh, yeah after that… I was about ready to walk out the door. I forgot to mention that she came home an hour late and only called to tell me 5 minutes before pulling into the driveway. These are all signs that you need to factor in when deciding if that job is right for you. I decided to turn off the TV for good (I unplugged it) and he flipped out and ran into his room. I went into teacher mode and started cutting out various shapes that we could glue together and make various farm animals with. He came out of his room, we made the projects in about 2 minutes and then he was back to demanding Noggin again. I didn’t turn it on and he flipped out once again. By this time I was so frustrated that I just let him flip out in his room until he calmed down. He ended up coming out of his room and brought out some matchbox cars. He was lining them up in the living room and when I went to check on him he started screaming and flailing his arms. I knew then that there was something seriously up with this kid. I didn’t feel comfortable in the situation because the parents either lied or withheld information from me about their child. I this had happened at any child care center this child would have been thrown out. The best I could do is quit.
When the mom came home she was already mad because I told her I was thinking of leaving. She told me that her child had issues. Well, that would have been helpful information during the INTERVIEW! She also said that I didn’t try hard enough to connect with her son. Well, lady your son has “issues” that you didn’t disclose to me. How am I supposed to deal with that? Also, she said that she chooses PBS over Noggin because PBS runs from 7-1230. Umm…. 5 1/2 hours of TV may be shorter than 9 hrs of Noggin but how does that benefit your child? The woman was a hypocrite. That’s about it. So she wrote me a check and then stopped me before I walked out the door to tell me that I am not a very good caregiver if I give up on a child after just 3 days. Here’s the deal. I don’t see it as giving up because this woman didn’t give me a chance. She withheld that information. Needless to say, I walked out of that house so happy I could cry.
As an aside, it wasn’t just the boy that made this job a living hell. There were construction workers banging on the house from 8am-4pm. Their dog was a barking beast that nipped at the baby. The house was in disarray. The list could go on and on. All I can say is that I learned a lot from this terrible experience and I hope I can save you all aggravation as well. Parents, be truthful about your kids. Nannies, pay attention to EVERYTHING!!!
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